penseeandcreme

Workin' At It

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:52:00 +0000

When you've been heavy your whole adult life, it becomes very challenging to try to lose weight to avoid obesity related health issues. I had some digestive problems in May and June of this year, and I was tired of looking and feeling heavy like I was, so I decided to make a few changes to see where they took me. I became a vegetarian and have followed a low-fat, low-sugar plan. I dropped 12 lbs very quickly and it felt great! Then the next week I only lost a pound. I was just relieved I didn't gain! I have slowly taken-off 58 lbs since June. I look and feel much better.

People are so kind when they comment! They make sincere remarks about what a great job I am doing, and smile and nod when I say how difficult it is. But they have no idea! Skinny people can't begin to fathom how hard it is for a big person to lose weight. To think about every morsel of food I put in my mouth is mentally exhausting. The exercise is physically exhausting. This has been the biggest personal challenge I've undertaken thus far in my life.

I still have a long way to go to my goal weight. Just like addicts every where I take it "one day at a time." I have this fear that I won't have the strength to keep it going, but then someone will say, "Wow! You look great!" Or I look at my children and think about what kind of example I want to set for them. Then I smile and think to myself, "You can do it!"

A Visit With Poppy

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 03:59:00 +0000

We had such a nice time having Poppy here in Seattle with us. Thank you for making the day so wonderfully special.

September

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:01:00 +0000

In my life, it's such a strange time for me right now. I feel happy with my life, but also have a strange sense of deja vu. My daughter is the same age I was when my mother took her life away. In a few days, I am going to be my mother's age when she died.

The air has the same crisp, cool breeze and startling harshness of the bright sun from that day, as we near the change of seasons. This change in the weather has always thrown me for a loop. Every year it trips my memory. I do welcome the change to cool weather, but it recalls unpleasant times. Just for a week or so, then I go on, and I'm fine.

This year the memories are lingering and giving me such a feeling of panic and foreboding. I am smothering my children with kisses and hugs. Relishing the time I have with them. Feeling like it could end any moment from a car accident, kidnapping or other tragic world event. I made Z. practice walking home from his new bus stop over and over again, so he wouldn't get lost. I was making him crazy. I wish I could just be a "cool, laid-back" kind of mom who lets her kids discover new freedoms gracefully. Anxiety disorder and PTSD are a bitch.

I believe the anniversary of 9/11, school starting for the kids, and A. and I being the same ages my mother and I were on that fateful day, have all come together to create these feelings of sadness, loss and anxiety. They too shall pass. The winter rain will be here soon to wash away the fall and drive away the crowds. I look forward to beach combing on the empty beaches with my family in tow, looking for that perfect shell or rock.

I feel fortunate to have such a wonderful, supportive, loving husband and friends to help me through these difficult times. Thank you, thank you friends! You know who you are. Stucco, you are my world. I love you!

Whoops!

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:54:00 +0000

We just returned from a trip to the ER with A. She was babysitting for an adorable 5 year old, when she decided to go to the local park to play with her. She attempted a maneuver that she used to do with ease (slipping down through two monkey bars with her whole body.) She didn't squeeze through quite as gracefully as she used to, and smacked her head on one of the monkey bars. She saw stars, felt nauseous and sleepy immediately. Does she stop playing and go get help? No! She kept playing, finished babysitting and came home. When I arrived home an hour later, she told me about the episode. Being the anxiety ridden mother that I am, I drove her immediately to the ER. Two hours later, we were on our way home with a diagnosis of mild concussion with a small area in the back of her head that had to be glued shut. I'll have to wake her a few times tonight, but aside from that I will rest easier knowing she's really okay!

A's First Swim Meet

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:59:00 +0000

It's been a very busy summer, so far. A is on a swim team at our local rec center. She gets up early, every morning, gets to the pool and practices with the team. They had their first meet on July 10th. She's had a lot of fun and it's a great workout. I have an abundance of admiration for her and the whole team. Go Orcas!

Egghead!

A up on the block, getting ready for her 200M medley relay.

Southwest Orcas with Coach Mark and Coach Jensen

A's events that she swam. (They all write them on their arms so they can remember!)

A in between events, catching her breath.

Brookings 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:37:00 +0000

Some of the rocks we happened upon during our evening beach walk.

My three favorite people!

A and me enjoying the beautiful Oregon sunset.

A and the newest member of her stuffed animal "family."

Our hotel

Me and A walking into my favorite Fred Meyer Store to stock up on sparklers!

Z man

Pretty gulls

Stucco enjoying the view from our balcony.

We love to have fires on the beach.

Camp Sealth on Vashon

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 23:09:00 +0000

On Wednesday, June 3rd, we boarded the ferry with 80 2nd and 3rd graders and 22 adult chaperones to head to Vashon Island for 3 days and 2 nights at Camp Sealth. I had never before had the pleasure of staying at camp overnight as a kid. Z. went to the same camp last year, and had a blast, so I came along this time to see what all of the fuss was about. A. went to this same camp a few weeks before, and she was raving as well. I had high hopes for fun, and I wasn't disappointed.

I learned a few valuable facts and lessons along the way.

1. You can lick a banana slug to make your tongue tingle. (No, I didn't, but Z. did.)

2. Cedars swoop and hemlocks droop.

3. Salmon berries are delicious.

4. Stinging nettle doesn't really sting. It numbs.

5. Harbor seals like to spy on campers (especially at meal times.)

6. Being a mom of a boy I had to stay in the cabin with nine 7, 8, & 9 year old boys.

7. Boys are stinky.

8. I am not good at rowing a boat. I make fine circles in rowboats though.

9. Z. is a GREAT kiddo.

The view from our cabin!

Our friends and bunkmates M & his mom M

Z and me

Z with his best friend M

Z claimed the top bunk upon arrival at the Agate South cabin.

Z (with his friend B) found this dead sea star at low tide.

A sunflower sea star exposed during low tide on the beach.

A divine moment of learning in the outdoor classroom!

Z and his friend S playing on the beach before dinner.

Z admiring a sunflower sea star at the touch tank during our marine life class with our instructor "Granola!"

Our study group found an octopus during our marine life class.

A funky tree located in the wetlands part of the forest.

Z and friends killing time before our ferry ride home in the back of our truck.

Z waiting for the ferry to take us home to Seattle.

Random Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:24:00 +0000

So many thoughts, so little time...

Facebook is very foreign to me. I think it is so odd that you can see absolutely everyone's comments about everyone's comments.

Swimming lessons for the kids are starting again tomorrow. It makes me so proud to see how well they swim since I've never really been a good swimmer.

Work is going well, but it pains me to see so many children being raised with such a sense of entitlement. The words "spoiled brat" come to mind many times throughout the day.

We are hoping to get our passports in time for summer vacation so we can go to Canada.

I wish we had more money in savings. This economy scares me.

I miss so many people right now. Know I am thinking of all of you, even though I can't seem to find the time to keep in touch.

The recent sunny weather is so refreshing.

We drove to the coast of Washington to Ocean Shores. The beach was scummy and cars are allowed to drive all over the shore. It was so sad to see the beautiful shore desecrated like that.

We are going to drive to La Push, WA soon. I wonder if we'll run into Jacob? ;)

Braceface

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:54:00 +0000

Yet another sign of impending teenhood. A is a great sport about them.

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:45:00 +0000

While making our way through Seattle's busy Saturday morning airport traffic, I spied the enormous line at the ticket counter. We were stopped by a Southwest agent. "Who will be traveling today?" "She will", I replied. Looking at A, I could tell it was sinking in. She would be taking her first trip by herself. Instead of the ease of a trip with your parents, where they make all of the decisions about how to navigate through the cramped security lines, how much time you have before you are herded onto the airplane like cattle and where to sit, store your bags, etc., she would be the one deciding those things for herself.

There are thousands of children around the world who travel like this every day. I know that, but it is very different when it's your own child having that experience. You question yourself as a parent. Is it too soon for her to be flying on her own? She had to find her way through the terminal at the other end by herself. Was that too much responsibility to put on a 12 year old? Yes, she's smart and mature for her age, but she has her father's sense of direction (lack of one.) Sorry Stucco! :)

She made it just fine. I knew she would. I'm thankful she did. As I sigh with relief, a small part of me feels sadness. Parenting, if you do your job correctly, is about letting your children have experiences, without you, that push them to the edge of their "comfort zone." Fear of the unknown, and finding her own way through that crowd of strangers, seeing all the changes that have happened where she used to live, seeing old friends, sharing about her life now, all of these things are for her. They will make her memories. She will share them with me when she comes home. In her own time. In her own way.

As I look back on this, what will stand out in my mind will be the part where I noticed she was her holding her chin up as we walked into the airport. Instead of playfully swinging her bag and twirling around on her toes, she was carefully reading the signs and watching the clocks. She checked the departure board and found her gate number.

She was ready.

We'll Take What We Can Get

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:12:00 +0000

They love the snow. It's in their blood (being born in CO and all.)

We only got about 2 inches of snow, but that didn't stop them from breaking-out the sled and having fun.

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:56:00 +0000

Z. has found a fun new way to spend his time at school.

He practices and performs on stilts called "Hi-Jax." It is really fun to watch them all try to dance on them. He is pretty good at it! Go "Zoo"!

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:24:00 +0000

YES WE DID!

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:17:00 +0000

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain.

- Author Unknown -

Loved Ones

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 02:12:00 +0000

Alia, Mikayla, Annika and Zac at my Dad and Margaret's house after a refreshing dip in their pool!

Me and the kids on Ma'am and Mr. B's front porch (one of the houses where I grew up)

Many of the family gathered after the BBQ at Ma'am and Mr. B's house

Grandma and Grandpa Boerding (Kel's parents)

Matthew (Jeff and Lea's son)

My brother John and sister-in-law Sheila, my niece Emma, and nephew Jack

My niece Annika (Stacy and Scott's daughter)

My nephew Jack

Alia and Emma

My niece Mikayla (Stacy and Scott's daughter)

My Mom's mother Grandma Faulstich with her grandchildren (me and John) and great-grandchildren (Alia, Zac, Emma and Jack)

Kelly and her beloved Ron

Great-Grandma Guenther and Ga-Ga with the grandchildren

Me and my Ma'am (the woman who nurtured and loved me after my own Mother passed away, as well as many years before that!)

Great-Grandma with Poppy (my Dad), Zac, and Alia

The kids together

Stacy and her husband Scott

Great-Grandma Guenther and Baby Alice (Margaret's daughter Lyle and son-in-law Bill's baby)

We had a really wonderful trip back to St. Louis in August. We tried to make it back to visit Grandpa Guenther before he passed away, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. We did get to spend time with the Grandmothers and many other members of our extended family. Alia, Zac and I were spoiled by everyone. Stacy and Scott put up with us as we took over their house with our suitcases, Red Hot Riplets, Imo's Pizza, White Castles etc.

Though we live many, many miles away, and it had been 4 years since we'd seen everyone, it was like it was yesterday. We love you! We miss you!

A Poem Written By My Grandfather

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:44:00 +0000

Beginnings

The past is gone, the future hasn't come,
the present slips away: do we depend
on nothing? Nothing answers, for it is dumb
and nothing has no beginning and no end.
For the time has come when the suffering of the root
becomes the root of suffering and the tree
of wisdom, bare of its customary fruit,
loses its image of abundancy.

And the time has come when the reason for desire
is tempered and the desire for reason
explodes from ashes into continuous fire
of light and heat against the severe season,
and in the meditation of the flame,
beyond the one sensation that it warms,
we perceive the function of its dancing game
and recognize the clarity of its forms;

until the time has come when the change of light
yields to the light of change, music of space
played in the half dark of an elusive night
of alternate despair and silent grace,
seeming to drown the time when the rest of being
ends and being at rest suddenly draws near,
when the sight of birds vanishes and the bird of seeing
flies away somewhere else, away from here.

From: Moving the Seasons by Charles Guenther

Vacation Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:58:00 +0000

A. and Stucco at the beach on the California/Oregon border.

Z. swimming at the pool in Grant's Pass Oregon.

A., Stucco and Z. somewhere in Oregon.

A. exploring the Smith River in California.

One of Z.'s proud rock-skipping moments.

Sunset at Cannon Beach.

Our view of Haystack Rock from our balcony at the Hallmark Resort.

Central Oregon Coast.

Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:46:00 +0000

Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:29:00 +0000

Yesterday this precious girl lost her father to his battle with prostate cancer. Please send your thoughts, prayers and positive energy to his family. Darci, Cydney (11), and Jenna (8, pictured) all have to adjust to life without Mark. He was a wonderful father, friend and just all around one of "the good ones." We have known this family for 11 years and they have become so important in our lives.

I knew when we were pulling away from their house, on our way home to pack the truck to move to Seattle, that it was probably the last time we would see Mark. He had already been diagnosed and given the terrible news that it was an "aggressive, incurable" form of cancer. He fought long and hard to win his battle.
I can still see his smiling face waving goodbye to us.

Rest in peace, dear Mark. You are loved and missed by all of us.

Deer

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:47:00 +0000

Once upon a time I totaled my friend's car when I hit a deer along a very dark stretch of Missouri highway. I am glad the deer's prongs didn't smash into the windshield.

Across the Miles

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:35:00 +0000

A great big shout-out to my brother who traveled many miles to come say "hi" to us! (Oh, and he had to work while he was here, but we had a great time seeing him.) I just didn't realize how much I missed him until I got to see him again. Love you! I hope I don't have to wait another 3 years before we see you again. :)

Out of the Darkness

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:14:00 +0000

I will be lacing up my old tennies and training to walk the 20 miles for this very worthwhile cause. It is near and dear to my heart.

Here's the link to my page

Because Shirtless Men Are Worth My Time

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:31:00 +0000

I spent an hour of precious time at my local caucus today. It was a fascinating process. Our precinct voted to send 3 delegates for Obama and 1 for Clinton. While there are members of the "Party That Must Not Be Named" living and voting in this state, it is refreshing to be a part of the majority this time around.

Winthrop Wonderland

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 07:09:00 +0000

We had such a great time up in the mountains with Dad and M. I got to experience the fun of snowshoeing. The great thing about snowshoeing is that you get to experience the breathtaking views of the mountains and valleys without having to possess any special skills. I am frightfully uncoordinated, so skiing is right out for me. I was fortunate to have Dad and M. breaking the trail for me. If it was up to me to trudge first through the fresh foot of powder, I would have collapsed in a heap! A. and Z. loved the sledding hill. They had their first ski lesson as well. Z. wanted to go skiing on "the big trail" right after his 3 hour lesson ended. We will have to go up again and spend a little more time. I have an image, in my mind, of the snow sparkling in the sunlight. It was absolutely beautiful! If you ever get the chance, spend some time near the Methow Valley.

Christmas Cheer

noreply@blogger.com (Schmoopie) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 00:57:00 +0000

It's been a rough several weeks. While there have been many good times (swimming, school activities, preparing for the holidays etc.) we all have been hit hard this fall with colds and flu. I suppose it is due to the moisture and adjusting to the climate, as well as being inundated with new germs at school and work. We hope everyone has fun this holiday season!